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That first year following my divorce was like a blur. I know the kids got fed and cared for somehow because they are still alive. I am still alive because I am alive also. Other than that I don’t know too much about that year. But finally a time came when I was ready to focus on getting my life organized and back on track. The following are some of the steps I took that really helped me in this area.

1. Create your own daily to-do list on a 3x5 index card. The card forces you to focus on what is really important for that day. Write down only what you can realistically accomplish in a day. Then consult your wish list and make sure at least one item from the top of the list is part of your weekly plan. And yes, that means some time just for yourself like reading or taking a nap. (note: I usually start with a quick and brainless task first each day just to give myself some encouragement to get the other things done).
2. Then I do whatever I am most dreading in that day next if at all possible. If I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone; or to go to the grocery store which I hate; or deal with insurance claims – I want to face my “giants” for the day head on and not have the negative feelings linger around me all day.
3. Each Friday I take some time to think about my next 7 days and how I would like the big picture of that week to look and then I get busy trying to create that on my weekly to-do list. This may be exercise, lunch with a friend, an over night trip, attend a school function for my child, send a resume for a new job – this helps me stay focused.

Tools to keep you on track

If only it were as easy as making a few index cards and guarding your time from here on out. But let’s face it: your new-and-improved schedule is going to be under siege-attacked by everything from big project to good old procrastinations or kids getting sick.

To ensure that you don’t get derailed, try these tips

• Do a dash of whatever it is you’re avoiding – force yourself to work on the task for even a few minutes. When you realize how much of the anxiety was created in your head, you’ll give yourself the jolt needed to follow through.
• Don’t invent things to do just avoid what you need to do. This would be like not wanting to clean the house so you set down and sort through the mail.
• Break your projects into manageable pieces. If it is overwhelming then break it down into sections or time slots. Give yourself some personal breaks to recharge your battery but don’t get started with a new project. When you give yourself incremental deadlines, you’re more likely to get things done quickly.
• Sleep. The 8 hours recommended is for a reason – you will not only feel better but you will also have more energy and be more efficient. When we feel scattered and tired, then we perceive we don’t have enough time.
• Put you on your “to-do” list. 65% of all women who say they are happy make time for themselves. 

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